Trust: The antidote to doubt


God has been speaking to me so much since writing my last blog. That was one of the most honest and transparent blogs I have ever written as I literally poured out my heart. I am not perfect and I also have struggles. I’m so glad my identity in Christ is safe and secure even when I struggle. And so is yours!

I started raising support in 1992. It was an experience like none other! It was fascinating to see God build my team and provide for my needs. At that time Tim was working full time. Over the years we could tell you story after story of God sending a financial gift just in the nick of time from someone we barely knew or didn’t even know at all. Our faith was strengthened and we knew we were doing exactly what we were called to do. Fast forward to 2008 and you will remember that Tim took an early retirement to join Royal Life Ministries. This brought our ability to trust our Heavenly Father to a whole new level. And we can truly say He has been faithful. We don’t have the words to describe how fulfilling this ministry has been to both of us.

God has been choosing to bring our faith to yet another level. Don’t you just love how God continually works on you? Since writing the last blog He has shown me how support raising has triggered some of my past abuse. Long story made short…Fear and insecurity was triggered and I was challenged with the internal question; “Can I really trust anyone?”. As God opened my eyes to this trigger I felt so much better. There was PURPOSE in my pain.

In 1991 I was taught that support raising was also ministry. I learned that God was my source and the people He chooses to join our team were resources. I was taught that our partners would experience growth and fulfillment because of their obedience. Therefore, we followed God’s call to make RLM a support based ministry. Over the years we have had good seasons with abundance and hard seasons with need. Paul tell us in Phil. 4:11-12for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.”

I think the hardest thing about living on support is getting our eyes off of Jesus. If things get tight fear begins to raise it’s ugly head and our flesh pattern of control will try to take over. However, in Christ we are safe, secure, confident and content. Renewing our minds with those truths on a regular basis is a must! Because behavior follows what you believe. God is making what is true in our reality, true in our experience! This sometimes involves pain with two steps forward and one step back.

Have you ever looked back on your life and saw so much value in your hard season that you could actually thank God for it? That is evidence of real growth! I am learning to trust God more and more each and every day. He is good even when the enemy taunts me with lies about my Heavenly Father. God never let’s me go through hard times without a purpose and has promised to always meet all of my needs. I choose to trust Him with our needs AND I choose to be obedient to Him in our calling. This means letting people know our need and then trusting the Father to provide in whatever way He decides. I feel SO much better remembering these truths. I hope my season and crisis of belief will some how speak to you in your own times of doubting. When you doubt, be real about it. Run to God in your doubt, not away from Him. Allow Him to show you why you are struggling. Are you believing lies? Are you being controlled by fear? Are you living in pride? Is something from your past being triggered? If so, He wants to use this present circumstance to bring healing to that past wound.

God is trustworthy! I promise you He is 100% trustworthy! He may not meet a need in a way I thought He would but He does meet our needs. And He will meet yours. Trust is a choice! You can choose to trust even when your emotions are shouting you are afraid. (Update: We have been told that Tim’s pension is in jeopardy and will be depleted in 6 years or sooner. This is disappointing, sad and unfair but our Heavenly Father is our SOURCE. Matthew 6:26, “Look at the birds of the air… Another opportunity to trust God.)