Legalism makes me mean

God is showing me so many things these days it will be hard to keep this blog short.  Did you know that you have a fleshly default?  The true you has been made one with Christ!  This means HE has made you holy, righteous, acceptable and loving.  But our ugly flesh patterns can always rise up especially when we are under pressure.  Remember our flesh patterns are unique to us and determined by what we have experienced in life.  My flesh will look different than your flesh.  We learned to cope and meet our own needs our own way at a very young age.  Flesh is independence from God.  Like the song says; “I’ll do it my way.” Continue reading →



Last week we saw an organized march with multitudes of women expressing their right for equality and today many in our society are marching for the unborn who never had a chance to enter life and express their thoughts. Both sides of any dispute are completely convinced they are right and desperately want to show people the light. As I watch the faces and the signs in these marches and hear the reports on the news it is so interesting to see the measure of passion in each person. The fire that fuels passion will many times be their concept of justice. Other times fear can ignite passion. Continue reading →


I found a new hobby that I just love.  Yes, I am one of those people that thoroughly enjoy the adult coloring books.  And I find it quite interesting how God speaks to me through coloring.  I have been pleasantly surprised at how much creativity has come forth as I choose colors and create a beautiful picture.  I have often said over my lifetime, “I don’t have an artistic bone in my body.”  I knew I was creative when it came to writing but art has never been an interest.  However, I have noticed in the past year that colors have come alive to me!   Continue reading →

Things are not always as they seem

Have there been times in your life when you were certain that something was exactly the way you saw it and then found out later you were wrong?   It’s interesting how certain we can become when judging another person’s motives with no concrete proof.  Many times our “concrete proof” is skewed and we are not seeing the entire picture.  Our minds can sometimes convince us (along with the power of indwelling sin) (Romans 7) that something is absolutely true when it is not.  I have encouraged some of my clients to say three words at the end of their definitive thought.  “Maybe, maybe not.” Continue reading →

I Wanna Know

Do you ever feel like you have to learn the same lessons over and over?  As I walk through this journey called life, I am aware that I am constantly growing.  I love having insight into my own belief systems and it’s incredibly rewarding to see my clients have those “aha” moments.  However, no one ever arrives! One rewarding thing about being in ministry in the field of counseling is many of my friends are counselor’s.  It’s so nice to bounce some thoughts off of a colleague and allow them to speak into my life.  It’s also incredible to have the God of the universe living inside of me that often speaks into my life.  Sometimes He uses His word, sometimes He uses others and sometimes He uses books, movies, music or sunsets.  He can use absolutely anything!  It’s interesting to notice that this need for knowledge started all the way back in the Garden of Eden.  Adam and Eve could eat off of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil or they could eat off of the Tree of life.  The first temptation ever served to them from the enemy was the desire to know more.   Continue reading →

The Joy of Eating

Food can be so delicious!  It all started in the garden of Eden.  God created everything and he said, “It is good!”  (Except God said it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone.  He needed Eve.). Adam was even allowed to participate with God in the growing of fruits and vegetables.  As Adam toiled the fields he probably felt a lot of fulfillment.  Can you even imagine what those fruits and vegetables looked like and how they tasted?  A problem always arises when human beings take what is good and try to make it better in their own strength and intellect.  Isn’t that how the story in the garden went south?  The evil one said,  “Did God really say?  Oh, He just doesn’t want you to be as good as Him but you can be a god too!”  Thus started the mantra, “I did it my way!”  But our way didn’t work.  We did not get what the evil one promised.  We made things worse. Continue reading →

The Gift of Words

If you are familiar with the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman; you will know that one of the love languages is “Words of affirmation.”  The book also list quality time, physical touch, gifts, and acts of service as languages that demonstrate love.  We all have a love language.  The focus of the book is to teach us to identify our love language AND identify your family and friends love language.  We have to learn to love people in their love language.  If we love them in our language, it will not be meaningful.

I never realized the power behind the spoken word until I entered a community that uses statements often like: “I believe in you”, “I’m proud of you”, “You inspire me.”  Flattery?  Manipulation?  I honestly do not think so.  I feel genuinely cared for and celebrated.  We all thrive when we feel loved. Continue reading →

What’s new with RLM?

RLM will be celebrating their 10th Anniversary in 2016!  We have been passionate about helping individuals and couples resolve emotional and relational pain, as well as, teach people their identity in Christ.  A few years ago my passion grew to include helping women in the area of the physical aspect of their lives.  God created us body, soul and spirit. (I Thes. 5)  God wants us to live a whole and fulfilling life in every area.  I have watched women hurt over their relationship with their bodies for years and years. Not to mention that I, too, found myself struggling in this area.  My passion to help others and myself in this area grew with each passing year.  How can you help and benefit others if you always feel bad?  How can you serve if you physically hurt?  How can you be content if you are in pain? Continue reading →

Our mind is a gift!

IMG_6191Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.  If you have followed my blogs for very long; you will know that this verse COULD seem contradictory to what I believe.  We are made up of a body, soul and a spirit.  The spirit determines our identity!  What Jesus says about us is true, regardless of our behavior.  However, I’m learning a lot these days about changing the quality of my life by my thoughts.  Continue reading →


As I continue to think about how we can nurture our soul’s (our personality, mind, will and emotions); we cannot ignore the fact that the physical and spiritual both affect our soul’s.  I’m learning so much these days about taking care of myself.  Not just a specific part of myself but my entire personhood.  The culture in which we live has us all frantically running around physically and mentally and sometimes spiritually.  We are all overwhelmed, tired and frustrated.   Continue reading →

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