Both! We are totally healed IN CHRIST! But sometimes it takes time for our emotions to catch up with the truth! I believe we sometimes heal in layers. In order to truly let go of something, you have to see the weight of the incident and how it has affected your life. You need to know exactly what you are letting go of before you can release it completely. Sometimes I forgive a person and then a year or so later I see a different affect on my life so I need to release the person from causing that affect. Abuse effects the heart deeper than we can ever imagine. I’m so thankful that my Heavenly Father has a very strategic plan for each of our healing. Yes, we are completely healed IN Christ and in our spirit. But as Psalms 23 says, “He restoreth my soul.”
I made the music/video in 2009 that shares my story. (It’s on this web site under resources.) I had received more healing that year and was experiencing so much peace. Recently God decided to bring even more healing into my soul. Is HE finished? I don’t know and it’s okay! In my book, I talk about Tim telling me the difference he could see in me several years ago. I fell in love with my daughter’s dog, Rocky. I NEVER liked dogs before. I was absolutely crazy in love with our new grandson. I had always struggled giving and receiving love. In 2008 I definitely was experiencing more of the touch of Jesus and had a deep inner peace. BUT since January of this year I am seeing major changes. God’s healing is relentless! He wants to heal you too!
What are the changes I’m seeing? 1. I have always like pastel colors. All of a sudden I am choosing bright orange when picking out an outfit or nail polish. That may seem small to you but it’s just not the “old” me. 2. I feel more mature! If you know me, you may be saying, “It’s about time.” LOL But honestly, my thought process has matured. My counselor explained to me that parts of our brain literally get stuck at certain ages when there has been trauma. As God unlocks the rooms of trauma, your brain can begin to mature. 3. I no longer need to tell every detail of my life when I share. Now that’s huge! I didn’t do it to get attention. I truly was a very transparent lady. But God is now saying, “It doesn’t matter.” Share about the healing more than the pain. 4. I didn’t like to be responsible for anything. Now God has been working on that one for a while by putting me into positions and roles where I was responsible. I had lots of fear. I thought it was because I didn’t want to look stupid if I messed it up. But God has shown me recently that isn’t it. I have had a deep fear in me that comes from my past that says, “I’m going to get in trouble.” Now that seems ridiculous for someone over 50 years old! But it was a very strong fear in me that I am seeing disappear! 5. I no longer feel intense shame when I see a picture of me when I’ve gained weight. Now I’ve been teaching women for years that your identity doesn’t come from your body or appearance but from you spirit. But I still cringed when I saw a picture of me when my weight was up. Do I need to lose a few pounds? Yes. But the number on the scale no longer defines my worth. When I want to hide I am feeling shame. Jesus died to take away my shame. And HE died to take away your shame. 6. I now want to learn how to swim. Yep, I never learned. And have been terrified of the water even though I LOVE the water. I almost drown in the ocean at age 13 and it shook my world. I’ll keep you posted on how this new endeavor takes place.
Why am I telling you these things? Because I want you to know that God is a healer! He doesn’t do anything half way. Hold on to HIM! Let him bring His healing touch in His way and in His timing. You can trust HIM! He knows what you can handle and when you can handle it. HE loves you! Admit where you are struggling and ask for HIS healing. HE may lead you to a friend or counselor or HE may speak to your heart alone through HIS word, or a song or a book. Follow HIM!