My book, that I started 11 years ago, was released on Amazon today. I feel strongly that I need to share my heart with you. Writing a book about childhood abuse is difficult. Eleven years ago, I clearly heard a strong thought in my mind that I believe was God, “The title of your book is ‘There is a Reason.” If a person continues to struggle with anger or depression or dysfunction, there is a reason. My journey of emotional healing from repressed memory of childhood abuse was a 20 year excruciating journey. I would take nothing for this journey because I grew into the person I am today and my relationship with Jesus became more intimate. And nothing brings me more joy than to know that through my ministry, and now my book, I can help others who are walking this painful journey.
My joy is one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is concern regarding the embarrassing and very personal things I shared. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God said to tell it all. Why? Because I want the person who is in horrific pain to be able to read my story and realize they are not the only one that struggles like they struggle. And I want them to know that there is healing ahead. This side of the coin also has concern for people that know me that might feel hurt from my words. Almost everyone involved has passed away but I know that they still have family members that may feel pain if they read my book. I must trust God with this side of the coin.
Writing is very therapeutic. I cannot thank the Lord Jesus Christ enough for the way he held my hand through each day of my journey and each day of writing this book. I’ve heard it said that God is a gentleman and I would have to echo those words. Even when I begged him to hurry up and bring closure to this season in my life, he knew what was best for me. As I wrote, I often experienced spiritual warfare. The enemy does not want this book to glorify God or help others. There was at least 3 years that I didn’t even touch the book out of fear of repercussions. I loved to get away to write because there were no distractions. Once I checked into a hotel not far from my home and as soon as I entered the room started running a high fever. I would write and sleep a while, to wake up only to write and then sleep a little longer. As I state often in my first book, I don’t believe in coincidences.
I am proud of my work and the bravery I exemplified in writing my story. Imagine all of your long, lost secrets written down for anyone to read. The reason I can do this work is because I believe what I teach. My identity is in Christ! I am a new creation! My behavior in the past did not define who I am. And my abuse absolutely does not define me. And your past does not define you especially if you have Christ in your heart. Will I be misunderstood? Possibly but I will be in good company. Philippians 2:7a – “Jesus made himself of no reputation…” Will I be celebrated? Possibly but I know I did not write this book alone and will be forever grateful. Philippians 2:13 -” For it is God which worketh in you, both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”
My desire is for God to put this book into the hands of people that are hurting. If you know of anyone that can be helped from my story, please tell them about my book. If you read my book, it would be very helpful, if you could write a review and put it on Amazon. Thank you for helping this book reach to the furtherest part of the earth to a hurting heart.