As a young child, I remember saying, “It doesn’t matter if I am loved, if I don’t FEEL loved it will make no difference.” I was referring to my family of origin but I didn’t know I had so much wisdom at such a young age. Let me say up front that we should not base truth on feelings. However, there is some truth to that statement.
First of all, our feelings follow our beliefs. So if I don’t FEEL loved, I am believing that I am not loved. Most people in our life are wounded, therefore they don’t know how to show true love. We live in a broken world. We do the best we can with loving our families and friends. This is why our passion is to help people become spiritually and emotionally healthy. We want people to be able to give meaningful love to those around them.
First and foremost, if we don’t truly know that God loves us, we are starting off on the wrong platform. The famous verse, John 3:16 is memorized by most church going children at an early age. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Yes, I learned it in the King James Version. God wanted to be reconciled to the human race after sin entered into the world. Jesus lovingly said, ‘I’ll go pay the price for sin, so we can have a relationship with our children.” We could not be reconciled to a Holy God unless our sin was paid for. God’s rules. God’s story.
Next, if we don’t love ourselves we cannot love others. This is why the enemy will do all he can to keep us frustrated with ourselves. For many, self hatred goes deep. Perfection is the game and we can’t be perfect, therefore we feel shame. I hate shame! It does so much damage! Learning to forgive ourselves, accept ourselves as we are and CHOOSING to love ourselves is crucial to having healthy relationships.
Do you give meaningful love to others? Most know about the book entitled, ‘The Five Love Languages.” It talks about everyone having a love language. The author mentions there are five love languages.
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Physical Touch
3. Quality Time
5. Acts of Service
We tend to love people in the love language that makes us feel loved. In reality, it will much more meaningful if you will discover their love language and love them in that language. We highly recommend this book to help you in this area.
This weekend is Valentine’s Day. The day we think about love. May you have a wonderful time giving AND receiving meaningful love. Start with asking God to show you how much He loves you. You just may be surprised at what He does. CHOOSE to love yourself and forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Ask God to love others through you and watch what happens. If you have invited Jesus into your life and accepted His payment for your sins on the cross, HE lives inside of you. He is there to live THROUGH you. I can choose to live life on my own or in union with Him. There is no fulfillment like knowing HE just loved someone through you. Ask him and watch.