This writing is coming straight from my heart. It may be one of the most vulnerable blogs I have ever written. Many of you know I am a survivor of early childhood sexual abuse. A few years ago, I wrote a book entitled, “There is a Reason: When Pain Keeps Knocking at Your Door.” It is available for purchase on Amazon and describes my 20-year journey of healing. I revealed things in the book that I did not think I would tell to anyone. However, the embarrassment and anxiety I experienced sharing such intimate details is worth it if my story helps someone else. (Just this week I received a precious e-mail from another survivor thanking me for writing my story.) I spent years in incredible pain and spent thousands of dollars on therapy.
We have no idea what our current culture is doing to our children. They are seeing and hearing inappropriate things at incredibly younger ages. The make-up of a child’s brain is not prepared to process this type of information, and it is causing unbelievable damage to our kids. When I think about the intense pain I suffered over the years, my heart breaks for the kids of this world. Sexual abuse cuts straight to the core of the heart, and it takes a lifetime to heal the damage. It can create issues with low self esteem, intense anger, addiction to masturbating, sexual dysfunction, obsessive compulsive disorder, just to name a few. Sexual appetites are being awakened way too early in our children. I have no words to express the amount of pain my husband and I experienced during 45 years of marriage. Actually my personal pain lasted a lot longer since I was almost 4 years old when I was first violated. Yes, 4 years old! And as is the case many times, the sexual abuse occurred again to me at two other ages.
Kids will be kids, and they are curious. Therefore, screen times must be monitored, and careful intention must be practiced if you are to be a protector of your kids. I can’t imagine parenting in the culture we are currently living in. I know it’s exhausting and overwhelming. So, my heart goes out to all parents. It really does. But we are talking about your child’s future and mental and sexual health. The sex industries are purposefully creating memes and reels and posts to draw kids into their sick mindset. You probably have noticed yourself that anyone can receive things in their In Box or on their Facebook feed that they did not ask for. There is an outright war going on, and this industry is trying to groom our children. Paranoia? I DON’T THINK SO! Cartoons are now including material about sexuality, and sexual content can be found everywhere you look in one form or another. The most innocent mind can unknowingly follow other kids’ lead. For instance, they could be told to google, “Girls in cages” and see things they should never see. Yes, that actually happened with a client’s children.
With tears in my eyes, I plead with all parents and grandparents to watch their children. The threat is no longer just that someone kidnaps your child. It goes much, much, deeper, and further these days. The damage done to our children can be just as bad. The agony of future struggles will be unbearable. Please love and protect your children well by realizing the danger that is right at their fingertips via their electronic devices.
The way a parent responds to a child when they are told that they were asked to do something that made them feel uncomfortable is crucial. Kids can heal and lead a productive life if they are believed and receive help. I’ve seen this happen over the years with friends and clients. Those children who were believed and received quality counseling are now adults that are doing well. I have also heard story after story about parents who ignored or did not believe the child. The damage is enormous. Most children do not lie about such things. And if they do, there are ways a professional can help you evaluate what is true. Please take this plea to protect our kids seriously. Let’s love our children well. If abuse runs in your family, it can end with you! Speaking honestly and openly about your abuse can help protect your families. It does not have to go from generation to generation. May you take your God given power to watch carefully, address issues intentionally, and speak openly about the dangers of sexual abuse.