Betrayal is brutal!  It’s one of the deepest hurts we can experience.  Most of us have experienced it in some form or fashion, whether it was a true betrayal or our mistaken perspective.  Either way it cuts to the core.  I haven’t experienced any recent betrayals, but I’m thinking about people I love who are in the middle of it.  Betrayal always shapes our lives in some form or fashion.

We know one person who experienced the ultimate in betrayal. That would be Jesus.  His closest friends turned their back on Him and let Him down.  One of His followers betrayed Him WITH A KISS!  His created people turn their back on Him every day, yet He continues to love them and pursue them.  So, He really knows how you feel when you have been betrayed.

In over 30 plus years of counseling others, I have seen the effects of betrayal in many lives. Hurts can cause us to choose a deep dependence on ourselves. We feel we have no choice because we sure can’t trust anyone else!  Dependence on ourselves is where our flesh patterns develop.   This is a coping that excludes any reliance on God.  However, HE is the only one that can truly help us.  We were created to need love, acceptance and worth.  When we get the opposite of those things in a relationship, we experience unbearable pain.  Our choice to depend merely on ourselves to cope will lead to self-protection or self-promotion.  And those are both dead-end streets.  We must learn to turn to God.

Sadly, there are reasons that people are the way that they are.  That is not an excuse for the person choosing bad behavior but a fact.  Let me encourage you to not go down the road of revenge or bitterness. And don’t imprison yourself inside of emotional walls.  Those things will not satisfy your heart.  Remember, if we start wearing a mask, only the mask can experience the love others try to give us in the future. The person who is loving us now is not the person who hurt us.    A quick side note:  You do not have to remain in a relationship with someone untrustworthy, but you can still forgive them for your own good.  One thing we love to tell our clients is that we have an enemy.  But the person that you think is your enemy is not your enemy.  There is one that wants to destroy us and every relationship we have.

Flesh can manifest itself in many ways.  We can shut down or we can remain easily angered.  We can wear the mask of a victim or an arrogant know it all.  When we listen to a client’s history, it is easy to put the dots together and see why they chose that particular road of survival.  We help them see that God wants to use this specific circumstance to bring them back to dependence on Him.  He is the only one who can truly meet their needs.  He didn’t cause the circumstance, but He uses it.  After all, God never created human beings with the capacity to handle the type of pain we experience in this fallen world.

When you look at the mess this world is in, it is evident that we are living with the results of people who made choices to live totally independent of God.  They think they know better, and they believe God isn’t dependable.   They take matters into their own hands and can do or say the unimaginable

There was a time in my life that I felt betrayed by God.  I remember thinking God was egotistical.  I thought God was self-centered and a bully.  This measly little human being shook my fist at a big God and said, “Does it always have to be about you?”  The amount of pain I was in caused this rebellion and disrespect; however, God didn’t strike me with lighting or abandon me.  I often tell people that it felt like God was my healthy parent.  He held me while I kicked and screamed, kissed me on the cheek and lovingly said, “Are you done?”  It was only when I surrendered, that I could seep down into His embrace and experience intimacy with Him.  You see, I had no idea how much God loved me.

If your heart is hurting today because of betrayal, know that Jesus understands what you are feeling.  He wants to help you release the hurt into his hands.  I don’t know where you might be on your journey with God, but I want to remind you that God not only loves you, but He IS love.  No one can meet your needs and heal your hurts like He can.  No one.  He’s working in your life no matter what is happening and He’s waiting on you to CHOOSE to trust Him, even if it feels impossible. Friends, HE is trustworthy.  I promise you.  Take a chance and ask Him to reveal Himself to you in the midst of your pain